*I want to state that you may not agree with all of my ideas, but I appreciate your input, and any opinions or perspectives will always be respected. My aim here is to make you think and consider, that mayebe...just maybe it's time things changed in our society.
The subject of this post, arose after a conversation/argument with an important person in my life, of the opposite gender. He was deciding whether he would join a group of his work collegues in a few drinks at a local strip club.
I shared that I didn't like the idea, and we definitely clashed heads in our opinions.
It seemed like an obvious argument on my part to point out that it was a blatant objectification of woman, obviously a well worn argument as he was not particularly stunned that I would use it.
The truth of the matter is that any issues such as this, when it comes to women, is like an iceburg. I don't think that anyone will ever truely see the extent of passion I feel for the rights, respect and dignity that women deserve. I have no doubt that this is heavily due to the fact that I am, myself a woman.
Now I know, that there are women out there who choose to work within the sex industry as strippers, prostitudes and porn-stars. And I've heard vast numbers of women saying "
Women who do that are powerful, they realise the power they have over men because of their sexuality and so the men are their slaves". I've heard that more times than I can count on both hands and yet, not once am I yet to buy it.
Exploiting sexuality as a form of power, does not create an image of strength...rather it stirs images of bondage and denial of authentic self. No person deserves to be summarised as simply 'Sexual'
I am yet to meet a fellow female who answers, when asked what they want to do with their lives, with "I want to be the worlds greatest stripper, or a world renowned Porn-star".
I did do my research, into the careers of female porn stars and the one recurrring similarity between all these women was their initial ambitions. Alot of these girls had dreams of being movie stars...celebrities...actors. They became so desperate to see their dreams become reality, that when offered a job behind the camera, they couldn't say yes quickly enough.
These girls were often but children, 15 or 16 years old, still discovering who they truely were to be. Many stating, that initially they didn't know whether they had made the right decision, but the more films they made, the more money began to role in. They dreamt of fame and in persuit of the dream, somewhere along the way they got lost.
One of the other heartbreaks of this industry, is the number of these women with serious Alcohol or drug addictions.
Why turn to drugs/alcohol again and again and again I was bombarded with this...
"...If you are unhappy, stressed, or lonely, you are more likely to turn to drugs to forget your problems..."Now why would women who feel as though they are so powerful because of their sexual hold over men, be feeling Unhappy. stressed or lonely? ...
...
Maybe, just maybe they don't have the control and power they convince themselves they do.
As any male knows and any honest female will admit. Us women are a complicated gender.
And while I don't want to try and speak for every female on the face of this planet, I will speak for the female whom I know so honestly. Myself
I want to be taken seriously, I want to be respected, I want to feel more than eye-candy, I want to feel as though I am worthy of time, of dignity, of personal integrity.
Those desires become incredibly difficult to gain when a bunch of intoxicated males sit yahooing, hollering and hooting. Oggling my breats and my body, with no desire to interact or know me any further than instant and shallow self gratification.
The heart of a woman is a vulnerable thing. Easily shattered and devastated. And broken enough it shuts down, it closes off and it numbs itself. Sometimes it becomes easier to switch-off than to suffer the same devastation again. Easier to succumb to the lie, that "All you have to offer is your pretty face...you should be happy to have the attention of males, you were made beautiful so you could please them..."
Women are more than pretty faces, more than flesh, breasts and ass [scuse the bluntness]
Too many women have sacrificed self respect in the persuit of male attention, in the peruit of love, in the persuit of acceptance.
Why do women accept it? why do they say,
"this life is enough? I'm not happy, but at least people seem to like having me around..."But my bigger question is, Where are all the men of integrity? Please please don't just sit there, stand up and begin to make a noise. Require more of women!
Men, imagine you have a daughter [or already have a daughter] would you not want the best for her? Now imagine that you have a BBQ, with all your mates over, your daughter walks out and all of the fella's start hooting and wolf-whisting and talking about what they would like to do to her. You can see your daughter, at first she's flattered by the attention, So she comes over to try and have a conversation with them and instead they tell her to shuttup and dance. Would you just stand there and allow them to do it? Would you join them in the hollering and hooting, and watch as your daughter begins to become defined by simply her body.
I know that it is overused...but it is true, Every single one of those girls is someones daughter.
Not all of those girls have fathers who love them enough to wish more for them. It is time that someone chose to say no to shallow disrespect and begin a revolution of men who take women for more than face value.
You might say "Thats completely out of context" but is it really, is not our society telling women "we just want you to shuttup and dance" when we choose to go to a strip club, when we choose to switch on a porn tape, when we pay a prostitute for sex.
I'm sorry if this post makes anyone feel uncomfortable, but tonight my emotions are running high.
Where are the men of integrity? What are young boys learning about women and how women should be treated?
It's something that we need to be thinking about.
What are young girls learning when they see women 'dumbing down' and just flashing some skin instead... for what?! For the attention they so desire.
I've heard the argument, "Oh I look at them, but I don't actually want to be with them" Then why are you looking? why would you even want to look if you don't intend on making a solid investment? Why are you wasting your time?
How is the woman in your life supposed to feel when you want to spend your time looking at something you don't even want, rather than proving to her that you do actually want her.
My opinion.
Porn and strip clubs and hookers, are the toys of men who are still playing the game.
Men who are still humouring the playboy, and are yet to make a decision to truely settle down.
To honestly say, "You are enough for me...I don't WANT anyone else"
"Oh but I would never cheat on my partner..." Oh but don't you see, by looking, you actually are
"
Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."Your lustful glances are taking something from this other woman that you've said you would only take from your partner. And is your partner supposed to just smile and say...okay, well I'm glad she could give you that. I'll just wait till your ready for me again.
By fantasising your being the bachelor in your own imagination again. Your cheating your partner and giving her less of your complete self, and less than your complete faithfulness.
Any woman who respects herself will say, "Dream on!" Sadly too many women don't want to rock the boat and just accept that men are 'visual creatures' and need that male bonding time.
How a session of mutual, visual, cheating classifies as bonding is beyond me...but alot of men and women alike consider it so.
To the soul of a woman, the heart of the man she loves is one of her most prized possessions she will ever have. When a man entertains a lust for another woman...he has allowed that other to capture him [if only briefly]. And that can hurt nearly as significantly as the physical act itself.
And finally [I know I've been going on and on] But my blood boils when men say "Oh but all the other guys are doing it"
Personal integrity should be bigger than what other men are doing. Whether the men around you want to choose to stand up and say, "The disrespect of women stops here" or not. You don't have to live with that...You do have to live with your decisions, and trust me, there is ALWAYS a decision, and it is ALWAYS yours to make...Below is an extract entitled
"Integrity (A Talk To Men)" taken from John Marks website.
"...Today we find it easier to rationalise our bad behaviour blaming it on our background, personality type and we excuse ourselves from any personal responsibility.
Self-justification is often an immediate defense when we are caught out. We excuse our bad behaviour by saying that everybody is doing it. This kind of behaviour often ends up in ruining ones own life, devastating those close to us and damaging many others around us. What we need are men of integrity who will maintain their standards, clearly draw the line, not even go into the grey areas of life, no matter what the personal cost may be..."All I ask is that men stop and actually take a moment to consider...
Please!
Women need to respect themselves. And when men and women alike choose to respect the women whom they encounter, they are ultimately telling women that they are worthy of such respect, and women begin to believe that they should accept nothing less and begin to truely respect themselves.
They find freedom
And that dear reader is a wonderful thing.
The cake was a bit of a trial, as this is the lady we were looking to use for the wedding cake. And can I say (Belle if your out there, back me on this one) it was absolutely beautiful, tasted and looked stunning. So it's definitely a yes in our opinions. Now just imagine somthing like the above with a few more tiers.
I'll fill you in more as I get better pictures and all that jazz...
