bittersweet pennings

the 25th of this month saw us realising that it has been exactly 1 year since we lost Lauchie from this earth and he went to dwell with God.
The pain still lingers, and the tears still flow.

A week after the 1 year realisation we received a package from Lauchies mum. It contained a CD single by Lauchlans brother Brayden, dedicated to Lauchies memory. Needless to say it had me absolutely balling as I listened - so much is still raw, but the hope resides in the knowledge that he IS with God and we WILL see him again.

Accompanying the CD was a letter from Jillian (Lauchies Mum) which once again had the water works switched on. The grief is still very much flowing in that family, but there is a faith and hope there, which I wanted to share with you.

"Dear Special Friends,
It has been a year since our beloved son Lauchlan went home to be with the Lord. His death was very sudden and mysterious and even now the findings of the doctors are inconclusive. It is very difficult to understand how and why this happened.
So we continue on in our faith. Faith that God is who he says he is - the sovereign Lord. Faith that he knew Lauchlan as His child and was there bringing him into eternity. And faith that he loves our family and He can restore us and teake us on to finish our journey.

So we have been taking small steps towards Jesus often in much pain and sorrow.
I honour my husband Peter for going back to work to provide for his family and continuing to be the kind and giving husband and father he has always been. But most of all for opening his heart to Jesus in a very difficult and confusing time.
I honour my daughter Tegan for the courage to go back to University to finish the year and for continuing to serve and be a blessing in Gods house.
I honour my son Bayden for following his dreams for Kayaking even when it was lonely on the lake training and for filling our house with music.
I honour my extended family for sharing the pain, crying with us and not being afraid to talk and walk along this difficult road together. Without you it would be a treacherous road indeed.

Again we thank our friends in Forster for your gift of love in making Lauchlans memorial service so compleete.
To Lauchlans friends and collegues in Armidale we cherish your friendship and support of our son.
I have been reading lots of books about grief and heaven and searching the Bible because that's where part of my heart is now and a mum has to check out where he son is hanging out. I wanted to share a couple of ideas with you.

"For the christian death is not the end of adventure but a doorway from the world where dreams and adventures shrink to a world where dreams and adventures forever expand", Randy Alcorn

Lauchlan has been born anew into an inheritance which is beyond the reach of change and decay. unsullied and unfading. Reserved in Heaven for us. 1 Peter 1v. 4

The Most difficult thing for us is letting go of our precious son and his life and future here on earth. Every now and then God whispers to my heart and I write a poem reflecting the pain, love and hope in our God. I would like to share one with you.

More
What makes me think I could give you more
More than Father God
Who owns the cattle on a thousand hills
Who prepared Heaven for us.

What makes me think I could love you more
More than God
Whose nature is love
And sent Jesus his son for us

And what makes me think I could hold on to you
When you were never mine
you were a gift from God
His creation, His child.

I think your life has been cut short
Your dreams not fulfilled
But what do I know of eternity
And purposes God has revealed.

For you have more life, fulfillment and love
In the presence of the King
You're no longer in the shadowland
You have the real thing.

Finally I look forward to the day when I enter heaven for I will see Jesus and my beautiful son will be there too, to meet me.
And God has promised to wipe every tear from our eyes; There will be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelations 21v. 4

Love Jillian and Peter"

Out of all the pain and sorrow, flows hope.
Lauchies father was not a Christian, yet since Lauchies death he has offered his heart to Lord and has now joint the rest of his family in their walk. Praise God - they will be a family once more in Paradise!