$2.95!!!!

Gosh I love a good bargain!
And as I was shuffling through the reduced bucket at Sportsgirl I managed to snaffle a gooden. $2.95 for this little number.

I'm not a huge hat person, but this was just too cute, and too cheap to pass up.

Also, to make me even happier, apparantly it was supposed to be $7.95, but someone must have labelled it incorrectly, and thus they had to give it to me for the advised price :D :D

bargains make me so happy!!

[Had a quick look through my wardrobe today and realised I haven't paid full price for anything in there...Oh yes, I know how to bargain shop, wanna learn the tricks then you should hit the shops with me sometime ;) ]

Race Day

Last Tuesday, as I'm sure we all know, was Melbourne Cup - the race that stops a nation.

I was woken at 12pm by a message from Timmi reading; "So...it's race day, we getting spruced up and going somewhere?"

I quickly chat to my Timmy, followed by a message sent back to Timmi and within an hour we're all decked up and headed down to the Wicklow for Melbourne Cup fever.

The group of us ended up being Timmy, Myself, laura, Timmi, Steve and Annabell.

Can I just say that it was so nice to see the boys in suits. I don't think a guy ever looks as good as when he's scrubbed up and in a suit. My three boys were no exception. Plus add to that the treatment, it was as though the old time suits brought out old-time treatment of the ladies...to which my feminist mind was not at all complaining about. Everywhere we went the boys escourted us around by linking our arm through theirs, they opened doors, pulled out chairs - it's was fabulous!!

As for the race itself...none of us were winners.
I had gone for Number 3: Railings...Timmi had joined me,
My timmy had gone Ice Chariot- which laura whole heartedly agreed with, announcing to us all that it was going to win for sure...No doubt about it.
Annabell and Steve had gone for number 16...whatever that horse was [no idea, they had chosen it for the number and either way...it didn't place ;) ]







The Railings Pickers...Timmi & I*

















The 'Ice Chariot' Barackers...Timmy and laura

















The Number 16 backers, Annabel and Steve








For the record, after all of laura's ravings about ice chariot, it came 22nd, out of 23 horses...it was hilarious!

But what a great day was had...Oh and I even have photo's [Yes, Yes, I am good to you ;) ]

*apologies for my pic...the only one for the day was when Timmy was trying to annoy me :P so it'll do

input is good...

Again I apologise to all the people who have to read this and really don't care.

I was brainstorming some bridesmaids Ideas with the influence of my mum to get some of this done.
Basically I don't want anything to fancy or over the top. The whole mood of the event is suppose to be relaxed.
When I caught a glimpse of this dress I thought it was beautiful and really what I was thinking when it came to the bridesmaids.
Simple, cocktail dress.



















The colours however would be different. The thoughts Tim and I have had is that the groomsmen would be in Black suits, black shirts and royal blue ties. So the concept emerged of having the maids in black cocktail dresses with royal blue sash, complete in a bow at the back.
bringing some Uniformity to the bridal party. Then I would be in my white, Tim in the black shirt, black shirt and White tie.

The thought was to buy the black dresses for the girls and then simply purchase some thick satin ribbon from Spotlight and do the tie ourselves.
Had a quick squiz around and there are black cocktail dresses everywhere!!

Of course we're keeping the Peacock feather theme, with this Blue coming from the very very centre of the feathers.



















So the overall look should be something like;

Bridesmaids

















Groomsmen




















Next time I'll try and keep my posts more interesting.

Arty-Farty-Pets

Man!! as I sit here I feel incredibly light headed. I realised about five minutes ago that I've had something close to 5 glasses of coke today. Plus a friend of Tims visited from Tamworth so we headed over to the "White Bull" for a beer. Beer on an empty belly will have your head spinning pretty quick (especially if your a light weight like me) but a good meal and 6 hours and that was sorted. Right now I think that I might be suffering from a serious sugar overload. :P

But all of that aside, what I really came on here to share was Kate and my shinnanigans last weekend.

I can generally gurantee some sort of laugh a minute entertainment when Kate's nearby...

So, with nothing but our cheeky grins as a clue, take a moment to guess just what we may have gotten up to last wekend gone...

...

..

.

We painted the cat!!

Did you guess it?!!

Kate visited Armie for Tims 21st and Saturday morning, bored and with nothing but a "midnight Blue" permanent hair dye to ammuse us, katie and I spent the morning chasing Dizzy around the flat painting stripes all over him so he ended up looking like a blue and white Tiger.







Took a bit of getting use to. And quite a bit of us saying "Geez I wish we'd used black"
But now, a week after I'm actually glad we used Blue. had we used black I think it would have been easy to think that it was his natural colouring.
Instead he looks like an Arty-farts cat. And I think he looks unreal!

Wedding

I realise that for some of you, you cannot think of anything worse than listening to me ramble about the wedding plans, however since these are the most interesting happenings in my life currently, they my dear reader, will be what I shall share with you.

The date has been booked. 6th of October, 2007.
I'm so grateful to my mum for being on top of everything. Had we not booked this far in advance, there is no way at all, that we would have gotten what we wanted, where we wanted it and when we wanted it.

So far, what we do know is this;

The ceremony will be held at the Green Cathedral. A gorgeous open air church right on the waters of wallace lake. It's always been a little dream of mine to get married there, so it is exciting that it will be happening.







The reception will be held across in Forster, at the Wharf Bar and grill. Which has this glorious sort of verandah which overlooks the lake. From the second I saw it I was pretty smitten. It is a restaurant on the second level of the building and for the night, they would close it off completely to the wedding. The venue is complete with seating for up to 100, as well as a complete dance floor and sound system.



The Plan is for the whole affair to be fairly low key, relaxed. With 80 people total. Buffet, and a Brassery of sorts. No formal seating plan, the tables will be decorated and arranged (as would be expected) however, we've decided that we would prefer for people to decide where and with whom they would like to sit.






Theme?
Peacock feathers. Already idea's are being formulated, with Kate giving me some amazing idea's.
One that we're both pretty keen on is this;


This is all so pink I nearly wanted to puke. But now imagine Peacock feathers instead of the Pink Ostrich feathers. And blue instead of pink (barf) everywhere note: I'm not planning on all the frilly stuff, just talking the feather vase centrpieces here ;)













The bridesmaids;
Katie (maid of Honour)
Rea
Belle
Jess.W. (go the J team)

I'm sure I will update you soon ;)
xoxo

A Long Overdue Update

As I sit here and type this now, I glance to my right a soft chuckle escaping me as I watch the white furry outline of Dizzy chase a march fly across the window sill. His front paws patting the glass, before his nose moves in to nudge the fly lightly before attempting to devour it in one smooth motion. But alas the fly escapes out the open window.







It's been a rather large weekend and I cannot help but feel slightly exhausted now it all being said and done.
Thursday the 12th of October saw Timmy and I heading to Queensland to stay with his Mum and Step-dad for the weekend.
Tim was sharing a 21st party with his cousin Jess on the saturday, thus why we had made the 6 hour car treck to be there. I absolutely adore Tims Parents and therefore felt completely at ease spending the weekend in their company.
By thursday night we were to tired to really do anything and so just pottered around the place. Gere and Richard (The folks) live on this beautiful property where you wake up to the sound of birds, and regularly see koala's napping in the trees. , yet only need to travel about an hour to get to the very heart of Brisbane. It was nice to be able to enjoy the quiet and rest easy for a while.
I knew it was going to be a biggen weekend, I already felt slightly nervous at the prospect of meeting Tims extended family in their entirety.

Friday saw us heading across to the Direct factory Outlet, for some retail therapy. It was just a really nice day of leisurely walking about with Timmy and his mum. In fact can I say it was one of those days when I just felt so relaxed, so comfortable to and happy. The conversation was free and fun - full of playfulness and joy. By the end of the evening, as Tim and I sat in his parents loungeroom - They bid us goodnight and headed to bed while timmy and I sat and chatted and laughed, and there was definitely alot of the long glances into each others eyes as I tried to remember the last time I'd felt that happy!
Tim stood with the words "I'll be right back" and headed into the kitchen. I heard him rustling about in the bags and convinced myself that he was grabbing a couple of Freddo frogs for us. He wandered back into the room, shoving what I thought were the Freddo's into his back pocket. He came and stood just in front of me, and leaned over to give me a soft kiss on the forehead. "How much do you love me?" he asked, to which I responded "Heaps" He then reached into his back pocket, and I expected him to hand me my Freddo, but instead a small Navy blue box comes into view. As he gently opens it, he sinks onto one knew and asks, "Will you marry me?"

...Shock...

For at least the first minute or so all I was able to say was "Oh my goodness...I didn't even see this coming...how could I not have seen this coming?..."
He must have been so nervous and my failure to answer the question must have only added to it :P
running through my head was the question "What would mum and dad think?" their opinion on such things means the world to me.
Knowing me too well Timmy says right at that moment "And don't worry, I asked your parents permission about 2 weeks ago and they're pretty excited about it..."

it's crazy, it's all crazy. All this coming from the guy who I boasted on the fact that he could never surprise me...I've since been forced to eat my words. He surprised me big time, plus add to that, my parents, brother and sister, his parents all knew about it....

So yes, as of 10pm Friday night I am a newly engaged woman. Timmy and I sat and prayed on the friday night, that God would lead us through this transition and as we head into this new stage of our relationship. We're both headed into unchartered territory, so we'll both be learning and growing together, it's all rather exciting and I couldn't be happier. I love Tim so much I trust him completely and we're easily the best of friends.



The ring some of you may be asking...is a Triangle cut blue sapphire with a string of diamonds lining 2 of the 3 edges, in a band of white gold. It's beautiful, and a perfect fit - Timmy did well. :)


Saturday saw us heading to Tims 21st at his Auntie Maureens place. Had an absolute blast, his entire family took me in straight away and were just too adorable and lovable. The engagement was announced at the end of the evening, quickly followed by the men giving timmy a firm handshake and slap on the back while all the woman running to me for a hug and squiz at the ring. This has proven to be a fairly consistant behaviour. :D






Sunday Tim and I headed to Dreamworld, and after months of planning I was able to return the surprise factor by taking Tim on his Tiger Photo session. We got 15 minutes with the opportunity to actually pat a real Tiger, complete with the "Now remember while these tigers are tamed, they ARE still wild animals, so at no point should you touch their face, head or paws, instead give them plenty of firm pats along there back" in later discussions we both chuckled over the fact that they hadn't mentioned anything about the testicles and decided that if there was any way you were going to be booted from the park, then grabbing a tigers testicles was definitely the way to go. Assuming you survived the encounter then it would make for a pretty handy ice-breaker/conversation starter, Of course being mauled was probably the more likely conclusion :P
We ended up getting to spend our time with Mohan, the king of the pack and lets just say it was amazing...Timmy was stoked and I got the warm fuzzies just by looking at the absolute Joy on his face.

The rest of the day was spend wandering about Dreamworld, enjoying each others company and having laugh after laugh as we relaxed in the glorious Gold Coast weather.









And so at the end of the busy weekend, here I am back in Armidale, happy, contented and already receiving excited phonecalls from mum with suggestions for wedding and reception...

Rough date, the 6th of October 2007, pencil it in ;)

Melancholy

I'm back in Armidale.
I'm definitely hitting a low point. I feel so flat, so tired and on the verge of tears so much of the time.

I think my head and heart knows that I have some huge decisions to make within the next couple of months and it scares me.

I know that God has my teaching position already waiting for me, but I still worry.

I'm tired of giving...
Tired of feeling walked on and yet as exhausted as I am I still put myself in a place where I allow it to happen.
It doesn't seem to matter what I say either...the trampling continues.

I had a dream last night...

I was standing in the middle of a crowded shopping centre, the people were moving past me, some of them pumping me lightly as they passed. I started to scream, to scream as loud as I could, till it burnt my throat. And yet no one responded, everyone just kept on with wherever they were going and whatever they were doing...

I woke up feeling as though perhaps that isn't so far from the truth.

I don't want to sound like a whiney victim. Because I'm not.
I'm not a victim, I am redeemed and restored to victory.
But life and emotions still get hard sometimes.
They're hard now.

Angels En Masse

Every so often life decides to add some excitement to my dreary day to day exsistance :P
Nah, who am I kidding, life keeps me on my toes all the time, and life with God should really do nothing less.

Lets just say that on Monday afternoon, there was a small army of angels watching Tim and my Back.

Saturday night Tim headed down from Armidale to once and for all prove that he was capable of something spontaneous while also proving me wrong in the "You could never surprise me" department.
It worked, I was surprised and had no idea at all.

He brought his dad with him, they both rode on seperate bikes and stayed the night at our place. On Sunday Tims Dad, Russel headed back to Sydney, while Tim stayed on another night here in Forster.

Saturday was spend hooning around Forster on Dickies Sportsbike [which Tim had borrowed for the weekend]. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as we screamed down the road at 150ks...was awesome!

Mum and Dad headed off for the weekend, leaving us kids with full run of the house. Grabbed at case of Cruisers and Carlton Blacks and sat around the place having a good yarn and a laugh. Invited Belle around but the woman Piked on us! Shame Belle! SHAME!! :P

Monday, Timmy was set to head back to Armidale, but before he headed off we decided to take one last ride round Forster. Right as we were about to leave Dad and Mum arrived home and in true father Braybrook fashion, out came the camera and captured a couple of these happy snaps.


With that, Tim and I headed out on the bike.
As we headed up towards main Beach, there was this little Mazda sitting in the middle of it's lane, no indicator, no breaklights, no sign of what it was going to do, Tim slowed as we apprached, but it gave no indication at all as to what it was doing, so we headed to pass it, and right as we sat side by side, it started to turn, hitting the bike.

All I can say is that Tim was Amazing. We should have fallen over, but he managed to re-balance and keep us upright. But more than that God was definitely watching over us.

We pulled over and the guy in the other car was adament that he hadn't done anything wrong, he even went so far as to claim that he was indicating...funny that two of us missed it.
And yes...Yes he was a tourist. Anyone who knows me well, knows how I carry on about the tourists who overrun my hometown on a regular holiday basis, they annoy the bejeebers outta me. And now, I'm fairly sure Tim will be joining me in my annoyance. ;)

Can I just say here that I was so proud of the way Tim handled the whole situation, the other bloke was standing over him, doing everything he could to try and intimidate and never for a second admitting that he had done anything even remotely wrong, yet Tim kept his cool, never acted disrespectful just took the needed information and swore to sort it all out and get in contact soon.

Though others may have seen his behaviour as being totally in control, I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't holding it all together as well as he seemed to be. I could tell he was stressed and he was feeling fairly flustered.

I had a good chat to his mum about it later and as it turns out, after he left Forster to head back to Armie, he had to pull over to throw up, coz he's been so worked up about it all.

After talking about it since, Tim says that it was because he couldn't believe he'd put me in so much danger, but as I explained to him, he never forced me to ride with him, that I've always and still always feel safe with him because he's a great rider and if anything it was my fault because I was the one who wanted to go for the ride that day.

The damage to the bike isn't too bad, couple of hundred to have it resprayed, and things are being sorted out with the other bloke.

we've all agreed that God definitely had his angels out watching us on Monday afternoon...
The only injury was my foot.
Tim hasn't seen it yet, because I know he'll feel bad (when it's not his fault)
But to be honest I'm kinda proud of my bruise...afterall, how many people can say that their foot has been hit by a car?!!

Photographic Proof of Classroom Adventures.

I ran the whole day today.
Susie was away sick and being quite adjusted to running the whole shabbang at little to no notice, I managed to handle today well enough. Rather than being annoyed I actually rather enjoy the days when I'm left to my own devices, I can pretend that I'm a real teacher and this little mob of raggamuffins are my very own class.

I'm very quickly approaching the final week of my internship. Since starting my prac I've been running my own dance group during sport time and tomorrow we add the music, being some old school Jars of Clay with 'Liquid'. I enjoy my little dance troupe, and it's been something that I've been able to add to the school during my time there.

I am getting to the point of bittersweet realisation. The finish line is so close that I can see it, not so distant on the horizon. But also close enough to realise just how much these kids have really worked their way into my heart, I'm going to miss them so much!

Currently I'm working on some bracelets for the little tikes. The girls will be getting brightly coloured beads while the boys are getting leather straps with black beading. To complete my little gift each child is going to get a personalised letter which I really want to pour out affirmation for who they are and the incredible person that God has made them to be.

This Prac has been amazing, not just proffessionally and educationally, but it has really penetrated me on a level I can't describe...God has worked within me and challenged & grown me. But above all he has shown his faithfulness and loving, nurturing heart which cares for all aspects of my life, all the little things AND the big things.

He truely is an awesome father.

This pic was taken yesterday, the kids were taking photos of one another for a project. One of them wanted one of me, I tried desperately yo avoid it, and eventually the kids grabbed me and hopped in the photo too. After the pic was taken Zoe turns to me with the sweetest little smile and says " Sucked in...your in the photo" I couldn't help but laugh, They're all gorgeous!!

[from the left] Sarah, Cameron[at back], Zoe, [a tiny snippet of] Jess.H. and Myself.

Loved.

Another Birthday come and gone.

Friday saw me heading to school as per usual. Upon arrival I was bombarded with Happy kids from my class wishing me happy birthday and giving great big beautiful hugs. Aaron had me in hysterics as he serenaded me with his updated version of happy birthday, complete with air guitar solo and high screechy finale.
They are such an incredibly beautiful bunch of kids, who I am going to miss so very much.
They organised a surprise party for me, which I was ever so slightly clued into, due to the fact that they're not quite as sneaky as they like to think they are...either that or I'm just too dang clever ;)

But I acted surprised and we had a great afternoon together grooving and eating. They're a cute bunch of munchikins.

So my day at school ended and I headed home. Tim couldn't make it down as he had to work all day/evening in Armie. Though dad booked us into the Hogs Breath for dinner. Can I hear a "Yummo!"?


















So I enjoyed my 22nd birthday in the company of my favourite people...my family. I can't really remember the last family affair we've had when all five of us have been present. So this was nice...really nice.




We ordered. Mum and dad even bought cocktails for the Birthday girls which was just a golden touch. I couldn't resist a touch of cheekiness and just had to order the "Sex on the Beach"
However I must admit that I was ever so slightly dissapointed when mum made no reaction whatsoever, dad however sat with this slightly ammused, forced concerned look.
"Hows Tim going to feel knowing that you had sex on the beach tonight?"...
yeah he's a funny fellow.





Afterwards we headed home and blew out the candles on a Pavlova and Caramel choc-cream tart.
Hmmmmhmm...
al in all, a fantabulous birthday was had.
Add to that, it was a nice touch to find a heap of messages on my mobile when I jumped back in the car.

Thankyou to all of you who wished me a happy birthday, I appreciate your love so much!

2 weeks left of my internship and then it's all over red rover. Yes I am excited :D

ooooh

OH!
and can you believe I nearly didn't mention it?!

This friday will also see the 6 month anniverssary of Timmy and I.

To be perfectly honest I can't believe it's only been 6 months...feels as though we've been together alot longer than that.

We have some great times together and I look forward to so many more.
I think one of my favourite things is that while we do disagree and we do fight sometimes, neither one of us is ever too proud to admit when we're wrong. And there is always a sorry not too far away when we've hurt each other, unintentional as the hurting may be. Theres a lot of respect in our relationship and that makes it amazing.

I miss him terribly. Can I say that without making anyone want to slap me? I do love him. and he's become so very important to me.

I look forward to when we don't have 3 hours of road between us. But while I don't think absence makes the heart 'fonder'...I do think that it helps you realise what it is you really want.

I know what I want...I want another 6 months with Timmy, then another 6 months then another and another and another...and you get the jist.

Big day friday...lots of anniversaries ;)

Survival.

can you believe I made it!! :P
Susie was away today with a sick/off Day. I couldn't help feeling a little 'put on the spot' about it all. Apparantly susie knew for about a week and only informed me about it 5 minutes before I left school yesterday. Of course I have to prove that I'm flexible and willing to 'have a go no matter what' well of course I said "Sure, no worries".

Woke up this morning and felt as thought I could very well be dead by lunchtime.
But HA! I went to school anyway - it's one thing to not want to go to school, another when your going to be the teacher. ;)

So I toughed it out. Truth be told they're supposed to employ a casual teacher, and shouldn't legally be able to relly on me to run the whole day, but I did. I was it, the teacher. They saved some serious money (about 250 bucks a day for casual teachers) and I won't even see a cent. Depressing hey!
Working so hard.
At least once I'm teaching I'll have a pay cheque to look forward to. Untill then I continue with the poor uni student lifestyle...a lifestyle which places me in the top 5% of the world merely because I CAN go to Uni...
Believe me, I'm not taking this for granted.
I'm nearly there, nearly finished, just 3 weeks to go and I am free to teach, and be paid. I will finally be a professional teacher!

This Friday is the first anniversary of my 21st Birthday!!
Kate and I were considering a party, but to be perfectly honest I just do not have the energy to really chuck a bash. Tell you what though, I could go a couple of drinks at the end of this week.

Though actually as I type this, I'm really getting into the mood to do something nice. Maybe grab some buddies over and do some food and drinks...and cake hmmmm...everyone loves cake :D

Lets chat Belle, if your interested in joining the festivities, Hales, Monty, wheres Maclod these days?

Timmy may be able to make it down for the weekend. No promises from him and no pressure from me. I'll be back in Armidale in about 3 weeks, and while it's hard being so far apart, it's understandable - I'm working prac and he's working 2 jobs. We've just gotta do the best we can. This time will make us appreciate the time we do have together so much more.
and he's worth it. We're worth it.

sorry, I know this is boring, but for now...this is my life ;)

MILKO!!!

allow me to introduce Milko!
I adore him so much. He was a gift from my brother Matt for my 21st - which I am due to celebrate the first anniversary of, in another 10 days.
I'll quite often fall asleep cuddling him...he's absolutely beautiful.

I know...I'm lame :P

I can hardly believe that its week 7.
I am literally 3 weeks and 3 days away from completing my final Prac EVER!
it's exciting, and while I would expect to feel that usual nervousness about my future wanderings, for this point in time, there are none.
none...
I don't feel nervous all I feel is excitement. I can go anywhere....
I received a letter in the mail from UNE which was to inform me that I am placed within the top 15% of undergraduate students at our university. bit of a shock really, but exciting. I don't know for sure, but mum suggested that if I am indeed in the top 15 percent then there is a pretty good chance that, come the end of this placement, I'll be a targetted teacher - Gosh I hope so!

Man, I really have to apologise for the lack of interesting info I've been sharing of late. I just find that while I'm on this internship I really don't have a whole lot of interesting things going on in my life...so so sorry.
I'm wracking my brain trying to think of anything interesting I could add.

Well...lets see...

For the last 6 weeks, at least - I've been gyming it. I am now an addict of 'Body Pump' Kez (one of the instructors) informed me that it's the quickest way to actually change your body shape - and heck knows I need to do that :P !
apparantly through the process used, the muscles actually tear, and then rejuvinate themselves, quite literally 'changing' your shape.
But googily-gosh - I'm getting muscles :D :D HA! it's exciting.

I'm looking forward to the end of prac as my social calender shall be a little grander than of late.
Becs Hens night in Sydney is looking to be on the 7th of October, Tims 21st in QLD will be on the 14th, plus on the 15th I'll be taking the lad to dreamworld and thats as much as he knows...there shall be surprises. Tims mum has come on board as an allie and it's going to be fantastic - I just know he's going to love it. I shall inform you later as you just never know who may be reading this ;) and we don't want to ruin surprises now do we ;) Becs wedding on the 4ths of November, adn Mons around January 4th...I love weddings :D :D

but alas I shall go...
more to come people...I promise (If anyone is still reading this of course :P)

bittersweet pennings

the 25th of this month saw us realising that it has been exactly 1 year since we lost Lauchie from this earth and he went to dwell with God.
The pain still lingers, and the tears still flow.

A week after the 1 year realisation we received a package from Lauchies mum. It contained a CD single by Lauchlans brother Brayden, dedicated to Lauchies memory. Needless to say it had me absolutely balling as I listened - so much is still raw, but the hope resides in the knowledge that he IS with God and we WILL see him again.

Accompanying the CD was a letter from Jillian (Lauchies Mum) which once again had the water works switched on. The grief is still very much flowing in that family, but there is a faith and hope there, which I wanted to share with you.

"Dear Special Friends,
It has been a year since our beloved son Lauchlan went home to be with the Lord. His death was very sudden and mysterious and even now the findings of the doctors are inconclusive. It is very difficult to understand how and why this happened.
So we continue on in our faith. Faith that God is who he says he is - the sovereign Lord. Faith that he knew Lauchlan as His child and was there bringing him into eternity. And faith that he loves our family and He can restore us and teake us on to finish our journey.

So we have been taking small steps towards Jesus often in much pain and sorrow.
I honour my husband Peter for going back to work to provide for his family and continuing to be the kind and giving husband and father he has always been. But most of all for opening his heart to Jesus in a very difficult and confusing time.
I honour my daughter Tegan for the courage to go back to University to finish the year and for continuing to serve and be a blessing in Gods house.
I honour my son Bayden for following his dreams for Kayaking even when it was lonely on the lake training and for filling our house with music.
I honour my extended family for sharing the pain, crying with us and not being afraid to talk and walk along this difficult road together. Without you it would be a treacherous road indeed.

Again we thank our friends in Forster for your gift of love in making Lauchlans memorial service so compleete.
To Lauchlans friends and collegues in Armidale we cherish your friendship and support of our son.
I have been reading lots of books about grief and heaven and searching the Bible because that's where part of my heart is now and a mum has to check out where he son is hanging out. I wanted to share a couple of ideas with you.

"For the christian death is not the end of adventure but a doorway from the world where dreams and adventures shrink to a world where dreams and adventures forever expand", Randy Alcorn

Lauchlan has been born anew into an inheritance which is beyond the reach of change and decay. unsullied and unfading. Reserved in Heaven for us. 1 Peter 1v. 4

The Most difficult thing for us is letting go of our precious son and his life and future here on earth. Every now and then God whispers to my heart and I write a poem reflecting the pain, love and hope in our God. I would like to share one with you.

More
What makes me think I could give you more
More than Father God
Who owns the cattle on a thousand hills
Who prepared Heaven for us.

What makes me think I could love you more
More than God
Whose nature is love
And sent Jesus his son for us

And what makes me think I could hold on to you
When you were never mine
you were a gift from God
His creation, His child.

I think your life has been cut short
Your dreams not fulfilled
But what do I know of eternity
And purposes God has revealed.

For you have more life, fulfillment and love
In the presence of the King
You're no longer in the shadowland
You have the real thing.

Finally I look forward to the day when I enter heaven for I will see Jesus and my beautiful son will be there too, to meet me.
And God has promised to wipe every tear from our eyes; There will be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelations 21v. 4

Love Jillian and Peter"

Out of all the pain and sorrow, flows hope.
Lauchies father was not a Christian, yet since Lauchies death he has offered his heart to Lord and has now joint the rest of his family in their walk. Praise God - they will be a family once more in Paradise!

Canberra

Its been a while since I've posted, as I've been somewhat blocked from internet access, for the last week at least, as I headed off to Canberra with my year 6 class for their yearly excursion. Great great fun.
We did all the touristy things and headed along to alot of education spots like Parliament house, Questacon, The war memorial, CSIRO, National Gallery, Australian Museum.
Funny moment of the trip was trying to convince Rodney to stop swinging on his chair as he sat bored in front of "Blue Poles" By Jackson Pollock. The tour guide was getting incredibly nervous as she explained that the painting was worth around 116 Million dollars. We had a good laugh about it later, as we envisioned him doing a forward flip into the painting before knocking it off the wall....
I bonded with the kids in a big way, which was fantastic. It was fun to be able to interact with the kids in a more natural and relaxed environment. I'm more convinced than ever that I probably will cry on my last day of the internship. These kids have so much character, charm and cheek - that I'm just going to miss them so much!!

We also had a snow day while we were there, and headed out to the slopes of Perisha Blue for a day with a bunch of Toboggans. I am extremely proud to say that I am now the proud owner of the Track champion title. Successfully knocking Jase (Mr Reed) from his throne - Go The Girls!!!

We arrived home at around 10pm last night, and as much fun as I had on the trip I am glad to be home, glad to be in my own bed and able to sleep in for the first time in a long time.

Kids are pretty amazing. I'm not planning on any of my own for a while yet, but there is such a blessing in their company - in their innocence and cheekiness...

God has blessed me in my passions - I love teaching, I love the responsibility I have to these kids and I take it seriously and consider it an incredibly honour.
Thankyou dad.
xoxo

The desire

the blog posting of a friend really made me think today [which is always a good thing ;)] . I wanted to share my response here;
"
I'm glad that your passions are alive, and I do hope that they stay kindled.
One thing God is showing me more and more is that there are stories to be told wherever you may be.We live in a fallen world, full of broken hearts and lives. Australia in comparison is indeed a wealthy nation, when compared to many this world knows. However if money was all that was required to make this world more bearable then many of it's problems would have been dealt with long ago.Life is never that simple.
For the last 5 weeks and at least the next 5 I have spent my time with a class of 26 students, each one of them, broken in some way - it tears me apart to know that more and more children, in what is considered to be a 'civilised society' deal with issues I never even knew exsisted until I was at least 12. these children are but 11 and they've lived with it their whole lives.Their are children within my classroom who have suffered so much abbuse in so many different ways, children who have known nothing but neglect for at least half of thier lives...and it breaks my heart. It took too long for their plight to be heart, for their stories to be unravelled.
I can appreciate your desire to shoot off to every corner of the globe to capture life, and to change hearts. But I want to encourage you to follow in the heart of the Apostle Paul and practice the art of being content in ALL things, wherever you may be. That doesn't mean you have to let go of your dreams, if anything grip them tighter, but rather I want to encourage you to be ready and willing for God to use you right where you are...
Australia may not suffer the same as other nations, but there are stories to be told and there is a harvest more than ready to be collected.[the Harvest is plenty but the workers are few ;)]
"

I do still have a passion for missionary work, and I do still plan to spent time on the African Mercy ship , working as a teacher and attempting to change something, somehow. But I guess that the more I press into God and the further he takes me down this path of life, the more I realise that it doesn't matter where you go in this world - there are lost everywhere!
There are lives which need the touch of Jesus.

I believe that God has called me to a harvest right here in Australia. Their desperation may not seem as prevalent as those people who have nothing to claim - no food, no clothes, no money. But their soul is just as wanted by the father. If anything, they're flesh is more than ready to wrestle the spirit harder, as they wear their smiles while their souls scream, stiffled by their CD Players and car exhausts.
We live in a society that thinks it has it all and needs nothing else. A society thats more than ready to look after themselves, yet forgets to love their children with, not gifts, but time...
Children who grow up with no father, no mother...not because they fail to walk this earth, but because they're always to busy.

We live in a world of broken hearts, broken lives, who desperately need Jesus. If God loving the children who walk into my classroom, through my life, is all I have to claim when my days here are done, I know it will be enough.
I may not desire a life of showiness or limelight - but I do desire to use it to show young hearts that they matter, that they are NOT forgotten and that there is a plan and father so much bigger than they will ever know, but more than anything that they are desperately and unconditionally loved for exactly who they are...they are not a mistake.
THAT is my hearts desire. And I will do that wherever God moves me. It doesn't start tomorrow...it starts right now.

At School...

As I type this now, I can hear the presentations of students within my classroom, carrying on behind me. Suzii (my prac teacher) and I have release for two hours every Tuesday afternoon. Today being Tuesday and now being the afternoon - means that this joyful part of the week has indeed arrived.
I spent the last hour working on 3 programming KLA's and now, figuring I've worked hard enough for one day, deserve a bit of a break.

Week 4 of my internship. 6 more to go and it has been decided that I WILL be going with year 6 to Canberra for a week. FANTASTIC! free holiday, just pottering around with the kids for a week, plus no teaching, which means no lesson planning or programming.
I really am enjoying my time here. I worked out my teacher profile, which means I've established the line for students, betweeen being their friend and being their teacher. I actually have them running scared some days when they really try to test the limits. However for majority of the time I get along famously with the kids.
I already have requests from the girls as to what colour earrings I should wear each day.

Tim comes to visit on Thursday, which I'm pretty stoked about - I haven't seen him for a little over a month. Which means that I have another month till the end of my internship. yayaay!

But alas! thats the Bell - time to take some kids to the bus lines.
Have an awesome day and I'll update soon.

Car Pool with Jesus.

Hmmm...It's funny the way God shows up isn't it.

I finished my day at Prac and Jesus sat waiting for me in the car.

I had an absolute shocker of the day, so drained and strained by everything that went on, we had a student attempt to stab my prac teacher with a pen, before being pulled out of the classroom for the rest of the day. The class going nuts and totally disrespecting a substitue music teacher. I was absolutely mortified by their behaviour, but more than anything; embarassed, because I know they're capable of so much more.
So they copped an ear-full when we went back to the classroom, I ripped into them big time!
we then had maths and they sat and they worked better than they ever have before, they were almost too scared to speak!

so by the time 4pm rolled around and I could head home, I was completely knackered, I wandered ever so slowly to the car, opened the door and plonked myself in the seat. As I started the car and began rolling out of the carpark, without even realising it, I had tears streaming down my cheeks, but the peculiar thing was they were not due to what I would initially think.
I wouldn't have been surprised if the weight of the days events had left me feeling defeated and exhausted, but these tears were for something else.
As I entered the car this afternoon, I had this overwhelming sense of peace and love.
God knew my day, and as I prepared to enter that car, Christ sat there and waited for me. He knew I needed him.
So I spent the car ride home chatting to him and grinning like a lunatic.

I am exhausted, but I'm joyful. Everyday God just shows me again and again, that he has designed me to teach - and I will spend my days attempting to better the gifts he has given me - so long as he keeps on sending the strength I need to do it!

The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.Exodus 15:1-3

Randomness...

8 weeks left of my internship. Starting this week I move into phase 2, which basically means that I can't fail it! Cools

I am now considered an "Associate Teacher" as opposed to merely being a "Prac Student".

Long distance relationships suck! [2 months till the long distance is gone!]

I'm officially obsessed with Chicken! Yummo!

Matt, Kate and I spent an hour on saturday driving around tuncurry, desperately trying to remember where Amy and Robs place was. We ended up having the best time, laughing as one Magpie tried to peck the bajeebers out of another one, and having a good chuckle at a pair of oldies with matching, broken umbrellas.

I'm missing Smirnoff Double Blacks.

The weekend of the 7th of October, Kate and I are heading to Armidale to celebrate our belated 22nd. If your interested, then you should definitely join us, it's gonna go off! and Belle, you had better believe you'll be coming.

Our church got hit by lightning last night, so this mornings service was without power. Entirely accoustic and entirely captivating worship.

I watched Disney's "Ice Princess" today, and yep - damn those corney disney movies, I got a bit teary towards the end...

Was woken in the wee hours of this morning, by a phonecall from Tim at 3am, we chatted untill at least 4am.

I took advantage of the blackout today by having a my first bath in at least 2 years - complete with candles and lavender bubbles...hmmm, so good.

I was having a seriously bad hair day today, and really didn't have the energy to do anything about it, so I popped on a crimson beanie, tied my hair in piggie-plaits and headed to church.

I have to end this, due to having 4 lessons to plan for tomorrow...

If your willing, prayer would be awesome! I can't wait till I don't have to be graded on this anymore!

love you.
xoxo