So, I've been asked to bring something to share at bible study this week. Nick approached me on sunday about it and asked if I didn't mind would I be interested in deciding the direction of the night.
My initial reaction was to say 'No' but then when I took a moment to consider, I realized that this was the sort of opportunities I'd been sort of wanting in a round-a-bout sort of way. So I decided to say okie doke.
And pretty much straight away I started to think, "what have I gotten myself into?!"
But I brainstormed last night, and just really laid it before God and asked him to decide the direction of the night. When I woke up this morning and started reading through some of the idea's I really felt at peace with one in particular, which coincidently (I don't think so!!) is the one which requires me to be the most vulnerable.
I Figure that it makes sense since I did ask God to keep me humble through the whole experience so that it doesn't become a "Oh I'm leading" power trip. So some of the things Gods stirring in me to share are definitely going to keep me humble, and to be absolutely honest, scares the bejeebers outta me.
So thats the big thing of the moment, just preparing myself to serve the best way I can.
On the Nick situation, things are good. As I've spent my time in close fellowship with God I feel as though I've been wearing my spiritual blinders a bit more, not allowing myself to be distracted by other things. Because of this I was able to have a great chat with Nick after Church on sunday, no craziness or moronics, just some good laughs and interesting convo.
*HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF*
Sunday Arvo, I headed out to lunch with the girls at 'rumours' and got some piccies. I really have to start getting more piccies up here...I will eventually.
I love hanging out with my girls, they're among some of the greatest blessings in my life.
Watched the movie "Kingdom of Heaven" SOooooooo good! Loved it so much, so I bought it for my dad for his birthday, a pressy we can both enjoy ;)
Hmmm...what else?!
OH! heres a biggen, which I'm pretty stoked about. Bec came back chatting about her big weekend on the grog and doing all these different things, and whre my flesh use to crave that old man lifestyle I had. I felt sick...
I don't just mean disgusted, but I started feeling physically sick, like I was going to throw-up.
perhaps I'm strange - actually thats a given. But having that feeling made me feel 'over the moon'.
As I've spent more and more time in fellowship with God, my heart is changing, my desires are changing, and I'm really seeing the uselessness of this worlds filfillments for what they are - Trash!
Gods changing me and I love it - I just want to serve him with everything.
Tiny fear that I may loose friendships...since I'm not into the party scene anymore - but God is more faithful and I'm taking on the attitude that, it really doesn't matter to me. People matter to me, but the only way I can help them, is to allow myself to show them the way, to point them to Jesus, and I can't do that while I'm just one of the masses.
Gods call and his purpose is starting to weigh so heavily on my conciousness that I don't want to live out my days trying to make everyone happy. I want to live out my days to make my saviour, my dad happy.
I'm his passion - He's gotta be mine too!!
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