Hmm...

Got woken up early this morning by my dad. He had to head to work at 6:30 am so he wouldn't be able to walk the Dogs with Mum and since I know mum prefers company, I offered my services.
It was nice being up at that time of the morning, wandering about the streets while the grass was still moist and the roads were empty.
Got home at around 7:15am headed to the Bathroom and as I washed my hands a familiar song came on the radio which I started to sing along to, U2's "Still haven't found what I'm looking for" as I concluded the chorus I added my own line,
"I Have, it's Jesus"
to which I grinned broadly at myself in the mirror. Then a response flooded my head
"Then start living like you found him"
needless to say it shocked me, it was still early and my eyes had barely even woken, the sleep was still nestled in the corners of my eyes, I wiped a tear before it fell. I couldn't remember the last time God had been so blunt with me and at first I was hurt, really hurt.

'There is no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus' I remembered that not long after I started my pity Party.

I crawled back into bed and curled myself up in the foetal position and just cried quietly to myself.
In retrospect I realize that I was probably being a little too emotional but this was one of those occasions when you know that your way off track, but you can't [or won't] change until someone actually confronts you and suddenly you see everything for what it actually is.

This was my moment.

As I just lay there staring up, watching the shadows of the fan blades dance across my ceiling, I remembered back 2 years. To a time when I was so desperately lost in a relationship doomed, yet like a hopeless Junkie, I was addicted and I couldn't shake my yearnings and cravings for intimacy.

Untill I realized that God loved me enough, that he sent my bro, Matt back to get me.

-------------------

A lot has changed in my life over the last 2 years. You know I realized that I've been single for 2 whole years. What a wonderful thing.

things are going to change. God wants things to change. I'm at a milestone.

3 years ago I was deciding where I was going to move away to, my first big move out of home. At that time, it was huge.

And now, here I nearly find myself again. Where to after Uni, Armidale? Newcastle?
Forster? or head South? A friend of mine has been speaking of teaching positions in Melbourne/Ballarat...

Who knows?! Coz I sure don't.

I don't know where I'll go.

God does, I know he does, and in time he'll reveal that to me, I trust him to do that in his time, the perfect time.

But alas. I am not going to alow myself to get stressed about it all. Uni is over for another year, it's time to enjoy my holidays and all my free time which comes with them.

Bless you!