Unified...[and sanctified]

Still in Forster, and contented.
I've taken to sitting out on the couch on mum and dads verandah after the sun has set, and all is still. I've grown incredibly fond of the coolness of the air and the way everything feels at peace.

So tonight as I sat, head perched on a cushion and eyes gazing towards the stars, I think that for the first time in, what feels like a long time, felt myself calm. I'm not a particularly stressy person, by nature. I tend to take things as they come, but I must admit that since Tim moved to Melbourne I've felt incredibly eager to get myself there and have felt the pinch of frustration as all that was keeping me was my teaching registration.

I've been persuing this idea of waiting. Of taking those steps towards the presence of God, of drawing close, but resting there in silence and allowing him to speak to my spirit.
Tonight was a night of sweet reflection. As I sat silently, eyes closed - before my spirit truely realised what was to follow, I felt a tear run the length of my cheeck, before dripping from my chin. My initial reaction was "Why am I crying?!" But I sat and I waited.

As the moments passed I began to reflect upon the last month. I'm sure that any of you who read this blog regularly [if you exist ;) ] are aware of the shebang with Tim offered his dream job and then finding a flat, complete with flatmates he truely enjoys the company of, and while all of that has been an incredible blessing, tonight my reflection flowed further back.

Tonight my reflection rested on the month before Melbourne was even a consideration in Tim and My plans.

It was December, I was literally, days away from completing my Primary teaching degree and Tim and I knew we needed to start making some decisions...Where were we going?
The Engagement ring was well and truely locked on my finger, which basically meant [as far as we were concerned] that we were joint at the hip in terms of city destination. But which one?

I can still remember sitting together and praying that God would guide us, that he would grant us our desires and bless us in our future together. That he would open doors of persuit and close those which we need to leave behind. I can remember that at the end of it we both felt pretty good, confident and hopeful. We'd prayed our "God, Guide us to the future, Prayer" Not realising that what God really wanted was to use this situation to push us deeper, and stretch our understanding of marriage and what it really means, further.

And then days past...weeks past...and nothing. Nothing had happened, nothing had stirred...nothing.

So we sat and we talked and I asked Tim, "When you look at where you want to go, what do you want? what do you really want?"

He answered Queensland and when he asked me the same question, I wanted to stay in New South Wales. It was then that we realised we were both desiring different things. We had asked God to grant us our desires, yet how could he? how could he possibly grant us anything when we were both desiring to head in completely different directions, in the long run whichever way we ended up going, one of us would feel as though we had been forced to make such a huge compromise, one of us would end up feeling even slightly dissapointed. Now I know that in marriage there comes times when we need to choose compromise, but we were both so convinced that God was bigger than this one, that should we throw it into his hands, his solution would be far greater than any we could create.

So we sat, and again we prayed. Only this time we prayed that we would be united in our desires, that God would look deeper, and guide us to the solution we sought.
Unity is such a powerful weapon in the hands of Gods children, and we realise that those snares which get thrown under us, attempt to break the unity which enables us to serve God more fully.

Not one day later, Tim found a Job online, initially thinking "Nah, no chance I'll get it...but heck, I'll send my resume" The next day he came to me with the news "I've been shortlisted...I didn't think I had a chance, but they want me to come down for an interview"

Melbourne! The city was Melbourne.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I love Melbourne. The idea of living there? well I was tickled pink. Tim was tickled pink.

We both love Melbourne and yet had never even considered it!

...

As I sad tonight on the Verandah I cried...tears of gratitude, to a great God who blesses the unity of his Kids.
Who blesses the feeble, the undeserving and the foolish. The God we serve and we love, is far greater than any words would ever give credit for.

In Love and Unity,
Jess xoxo