Over the last little while I have been sharing a discussion with a friend of mine in regards to the concept of their being one person 'designed' for you in this life. I really wanted to share some of the discussion here, sort of in response to similar thoughts which he has been sharing within his blog.
While I do believe that I am incredibly immature in general, sadly, due to the way this area of my life has panned out, I do not believe that I'm in anyway naive in my thoughts on this matter. I've been in a relationship, seen it end and wondered why. During the union I honestly saw myself sharing my life with this other, but that did not come to be.
I believe that there are numerous people who I will meet and share my life with, whom I would be more than capable of living happily with for the rest of this life...however, I still hold true to the belief that there is one person designed for me, and in return me for him.
As stated in my friends blog part of the reasoning behind that, is because it does give me a sense of peace, knowing that every person I meet is not neccessarily a 'potential'. Perhaps thats a tacky reasoning, and granted it's not the strongest argument 'for' at all.
When it really comes down to it, I do have reasons for still holding true to the belief that there is one person designed for me. Alot of the strength to that belief comes from family connections. I grew up hearing my mum telling me that all I don't have to stress about boys because there is 'one' God has for me, my parents have been married for 27 years...my Grandma told me the same thing, my grandparents have been married 52 years. My great Grandmother said the same thing also, My great Grandparents have passed away now, but they were married for 70 years. To have grown up with people walking the talk of one only, I guess it's pretty easy to see why it caught on.
what I don't believe is that God is a controlling, forceful God. I don't believe in Fate, I don't believe in desting, in fact God doesn't believe in fate either just check out Isaiah 65:11 - 12 so thats a pretty good reason to cast that aside.
I do believe that we each make our own decisions which means that ultimately we will choose who it is, that we spend the rest of our lives with...
As I type this now, a new thought entered my mind...
...how wonderful pondering is...
Rather than the emphasis lying on there being someone designed for me, perhaps what I should say is that "I am designed for one person", I only want to spend my forever with one other.
After all, will I ever truely know if the one is 'The One'. I don't believe that there's going to be a flashing neon arrow hanging over his head. But I've met alot of people in this life, I've shared relationship with a few, but they never were the one that I'll be spending the rest of my life with, and I do believe that there is a reason for that...
I think that in order for me to be able to spend forever with a person, there are specifics, which means that only few will make the criteria (sounds horrid, but I lacked a better word)
Obviously a shared faith is neccessary, but on top of that, a shared calling is also neccessary, in order for us to share life, we need to be basically on the same sort of path, there is more...I'm sure theres more, but I will spare you for now.
What I will end with however, is to say that I believe there are a number of people who could be "the one" and I think that whoever that one is comes down to my choosing, which will be influenced by God. It won't be by his force, but rather, by his grace.
does that make sense?!!
we'll see.
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