Breaking, Shaping, Moulding...

I was chatting to a good friend today, talking about things that have been concerning us lately. Conversation came around to a bit of a falling out I'd had with a friend of mine recently. Granted we don't know each other very well at all, and for all I knew the way they had spurred up at me, seemed not only really out of character but also out of nowhere.
This friend who I was talking to, also knew this other friend, and over the course of the conversation she was able to pin-point places where things I have said in the past, with heavy humour attached, could possibly have been taken wrongly by this other.
As I pondered it further I began to wonder.
The issues involved had been in regards to race, and it seems the joke which may have offended was the exact joke I had shared with the other international students sharing my flat, all of which had laughed heavily and enjoyed the moment.
let me make myself clear, the fact that others had laughed while this other had not, is not the point, this doesn't mean that this persons feelings are not valid...if you feel something, theres a reason, it's yours and that makes it valid.
Rather the issue which has been mulling in my head, is the dangers involved in sharing with others. As I considered it further, I realized that the friend who took offence really does not know me well at all, and I barely know him either.
The people who I share my flat with, do know me well, and so when I told the joke they knew that I was saying it fondly, without any cruelness or any derogatory underpinnings. I guess thats the advantage of knowing others well and in return them knowing you.

To the person I offended I apologise, I did not mean anything cruel by it, I never meant to offend or hurt you. I blame myself completely.

I also notted perhaps a rather large chink in my views...
While It's clear that society still places large emphasis on culture, race etc. I will say that I do not rate a person in terms of these. I don't look at one person and say..."Aww, she's from 'such and such country'I've heard..." In fact, I've found incredible joy in the last 2 years learning 'straight from the horses mouth' about cultures...man there's some awesome places out there that I want to visit one day...
But I guess here's the chink I found. Cultural stereotypes or misconceptions really don't play in my world-view, granted they run rampant within society...and in comes my humour, because they don't have a place in my view I tend to use them in my jokes, because there importance within society is humorous to me...thus the reason for the chink. To the people who have copped the flak due to societies view on cultural stereotypes, if they don't know me well, then they may feel that I'm just having another go, adding to what society does everyday.
To these people I want to say that I'm not ahving a go at you, in no way intentionally.
If I have the pleasure of meeting you, I will have no pre-conceived notions of you based on your race, the only notions I will have, will be whatever you have given me of yourself to know...
I'm fascinated by culture, I find incredible joy in learning about it, If I have ever made you feel bad I'm sorry, if I've ever offended you, I'm sorry. But please I ask that you know, I have never said anything to be cruel.
Sometimes I get so caught up in being me, that I forget that not everyone knows me, and understands where I'm coming from.